Where is the Love?

Sir Thomas More describes, what seems to be, an effortless and altruistic living situation, disconnected from the callous and material cravings of mainland life. However, this way of life that seems too good to be true is also stripped of the one emotion that our society’s family life is grounded upon: love. Throughout his elaborate depiction of “Utopia”, Sir Thomas More describes many aspects of the family that are completely void of emotion and affection, raising the question if his writings are a reflection of his personal marriages or family life? From what is documented of his life; however, Sir Thomas More was very involved with his children, writing letters to them often and seeing to it that they all, daughters included, received a quality education. Therefore, either his writings must reflect inner emotion about family that he tried to rarely show, or “Utopia” is simply a creative, fictitious manifestation of thoughts distinct from his true thoughts about life.

On page 551 he writes, “As a rule, the son is trained to his father’s craft, for which most feel a natural inclination. But if anyone is attracted to another occupation, he is transferred by adoption into a family practicing the trade he prefers.” The act of adoption is usually an extreme action taken only in severe circumstances. Sir Thomas More describes adoption in very light terms, hardly taking into consideration the separating of families that ultimately accompanies it. This could reflect the fact that he regarded the children of his second wife as his own, or that he became the guardian of a child without extreme difficulty. Regardless, “Utopia” takes the learning of certain trades as far superior to the bonds of a family that are so crucial in modern societies such as ours.

Later Sir Thomas More describes how the nurses of “Utopia” do most of caring for infants. “Thus the nurses may lay the infants down, change them, dress them, and let them play before the fire. Each child is nursed by its own mother, unless death or illness prevents. When that happens, the wife of the syphogrant quickly finds a suitable nurse. The problem is not difficult” (p. 555). Although mothers provide the milk for their children, most other activities necessary are carried out by a nurse, and if a mother dies she is quickly replaced with no problems. Usually when a mother bears a child she wants to spend every moment possible with them, only lending them to alternate care when necessary.

Aside from adoption and childbearing, “Utopia” also takes the act of marriage extremely lightly, almost as a burden. He writes, “The reason they punish this [premarital sex] offense so severely is that they suppose few people would join in married love—with confinement to a single partner, and all the petty annoyances that married life involves—unless they were strictly restrained from a life of promiscuity” (p.570). Love itself if not enough for the people of “Utopia” to sustain a marriage, they must be bound by contract and restricted from premarital sex. This is extremely interesting, for people of today’s society regard love as the main reason to marry and maintain this union throughout life.

The differences between “Utopia” and our society today are obviously extremely different, but differ the most in the emotional realm. Although today’s culture has changed tremendously from the time of Sir Thomas More, the idea of love was still present, as can be observed in other artist’s writings of that time period. It can only be speculated then, whether his lighthearted views on family in “Utopia” are a product of his inner emotions or simply make believe.